The Tahs

15 Sam Norton-Knight – When you lose one slow and flaky fullback, consider yourself lucky to have another slow and flaky fullback to take his place.
14 Lote Tuqiri – the multi-million dollar try scoring machine!
13 Timana Tahu – Had a sensational last year of league before switching to rugby. Just like Wendell Sailor.
12 Daniel Halangahu – “hmmm, he’s our only goal kicker, we’ve gotta play him somewhere”
11 Lachlan Turner – Three words: “Second Year Syndrome”
10 Kurtley Beale  - aha! The Tah plan to reposition rugby backlines to be made up completely of fly halves takes another step forward.
9 Brett Sheahan – he’s the scrumhalf least preferred by the Wallaby selectors, so naturally the Tahs will start him.
8 Wycliffe Palu – 2008 is his year to prove he has the work rate and fitness to stamp his authority on the whole match. Just like 2007 was.
7 Phil Waugh – slowly, ever so slowly, slipping down the preferred pile of open sides.  Next stop – Japan!
6 Rocky Elsom – Australia’s ‘toughest forward’.  Is laughed at in England, South Africa and New Zealand.
5 Dan Vickerman – Showed in the World Cup how opposition can defeat him. Niggle, niggle, niggle.
4 Al Kanaar – oh yeah! I remember him. The greenie right?
3 Al Baxter – well who is the alternative Waratah tight head prop?
2 Adam Freier – too small for a rugby player, but too big for a jockey, so what are you gonna do?
1 Matt Dunning – shall be interesting to see if he can emulate Justin Harrison and live of a performance in a single test for his entire career.

16 Tatafu Polota Nau – brings size, speed, skill, aggression, strike power, brilliance, flair, strength to the game. So the Tahs will pick a dwarf in front of him.
17 Benn Robinson – the best scrummaging prop in Australia. So yeah, sit him on the bench.
18 Dean Mumm – “hey dad, congrats on the new position on the NSWRU board!”
19 Ben Mowen – if form continues, will suffer a season ending injury within the next 2 months.
20 Josh Valentine – has more S14 experience than Luke Burgess so must be picked ahead of him.
21 Sam Harris – clause 22.b of Waratah Playing Contract “Sam Harris to be selected in the Waratah Squad, subject to injury, every week regardless of form”
22 Ben Jacobs – Waratahs best back of 2007. Sums up the Tahs in 2007 pretty nicely.

Brumbies

15 Mark Gerrard – well he’s too slow for wing, so we might as well try him at fullback.  The next Joe Roff. Fantastic at provincial level, goes MIA in tests.
14 Peter Playford – can really finish off a try, if all he has to do is catch the ball and fall over the line with no one in front.
13 Adam Ashley-Cooper – Adam Ashley-Choker after his pathetic efforts in the RWC quarter final.
12 Gene Fairbanks – how do you replace players like Larkham or Giteau? Not with players like Fairbanks it would seem.
11 Clyde Rathbone – Nicknamed Rhino. Unfortunately he’s not in Africa anymore and his inefficiencies in his current environment are there for all to see.
10 Julian Huxley – Right up there with Nigel Kassulke and Dominic MacQuire as far as single season Wallabies go.
9 Josh Holmes – Great running game, dodgy in the tight stuff though.  Should really be playing in the forwards for the Brumbies.
8 Stephen Hoiles – 98kgs playing in the forwards at international level. Sorry Steve, but this aint 1960. Move along.
7 George Smith – 94 Super 12/14 games and 83 tests seemingly really start to take the edge off even the most talented of players.
6 Mitchell Chapman – courageous and selfless, the type of guy who will sacrifice his own gain for the good of the team. Ready to do the dirty work for no reward in order to help his team mates. Just the type of player you want leading your pack from blindside. Unfortunately, the Brumbies have Chapman instead.
5 Mark Chisolm – In all the Rugby World Cups in all the world has there ever been a more dismal tournament by someone with an adequate amount of talent as Chisolm? Learn to bloody catch Mark!
4 Al Campbell – Surely the only reason this guy is still around is that even the Japanese and Italian clubs know he’s crap.
3 Guy Shepherdson – when the chips were down in the RWC quarter final and we needed our Tight Head to guts it up and get the hit on in the scrum, Guy crouched, paused, touched, paused, paused and retreated. Nice.
2 Saia Faingaa – has a natural affinity with his brother who plays in the centres, so much so that will often throw his lineout ball directly to him.
1 Nick Henderson – The Henderson Kids used to be good show to watch. This Henderson kid isn’t.

16 Huia Edmonds – some years ago he moved to the centres to break into high quality rugby. Then he moved to South Africa to break into high quality rugby. Now he’s in Canberra to break into high class rugby.
17 Salesi Maafu – packs a lot of punch the big man.
18 Jone Tawake – potentially a dangerous, hard hitting, hard running dynamo of a rugby player. Just like he was 5 years ago when he made his debut.
19 Julian Salvi – jack of all trades, master of none.
20 Patrick Phibbs – his brother-in-law is a coach at the Brumbies ensuring another year of squad selection.
21 Anthony Faingaa – the selectors can’t tell which Saia is and which Anthony is, so they just pick both.
22 Francis Fanifino – a dangerous runner, extremely hard to bring down. Unless he has to catch the ball.

Quokkas

15 Cameron Shepherd – his best game of the year was a scratch game of touch against two drunken Frenchmen in the middle of Paris city. Embarrassing form on return from injury.
14 Drew Mitchell – has speed and ummmm….speed….ummm….yeah.
13 Ryan Cross – runs the perfect line for an outside centre. If that line is diagonally across field cramping your winger.
12 Scott Staniforth – in 2007 he proved that his 2006 form was nothing but a fluke.
11 Nick Cummins – Seriously, it’s between him and Sare.  Shees.
10 Matt Giteau – once again, the best scrumhalf in Australia is playing out of position.  However imagine how crap the Force would be without him.
9 Matt Henjak – The human Quokka
8 Scott Fava – he’s just not up to it anymore is he? And I use the word “anymore’ advisably.
7 David Pocock – talented youngster. Injuries are a concern however.  Not a good sign.  Can I take this opportunity to categorically deny any suggestion that he is a roid user?
6 Richard Brown – Surely there is someone else? Hmmm, nup. Doesn’t seem to be.
5 Nathan Sharpe – Perhaps why Cross runs so much across field is because he has this lug standing on his outside shoulder all the time.
4 Tom Hockings – not ready for the big time yet. But there aint no one else.
3 Troy Tarinaki – better him than AJ.
2 Tai McIsaacs – Perhaps 3 years past his best.  Which is a shame considering how average he was 3 years ago.
1 Gareth Hardy – The perfect Brumby forward. Will be close to the top of the Force try scorers list.

16 Luke Holmes – plays like his brother, with regards to avoiding contact.
17 AJ Whalley – The next Matt Dunning
18 David Pusey – In Perth they have renamed Pedestrian Crossings to be called Pusey Crossings.
19 Tamati Horua – was awesome for the Brumbies when he had the likes of Finegan, Giffen, Paul and Smith around him. Unfortunately now only has the like of Brown, Sharpe, McIsaacs and Pusey.
20 Adam Clarke – c’mon. You know it, I know it. This guy will be nothing short of average.
21 James Hilgendorf – a true utility player who can play equally poorly at fullback, wing and fly half.
22 Lachlan MacKay – on the bench for the first game. On the hospital gurney for the rest of the season.

Reds

15 Chris Latham – still the best in the world. Just stronger and more rested than last year.
14 Digby Ione – the line breaker QLD rugby missed pre-08. Home sweet home.
13 Morgan Turinui – is reportedly looking forward to being a part of a team on the way up, rather than way down.
12 Chris Siale – would have been a Wallaby, injury permitting, in 07. Will be in 08. Made Beale look good in the ARC. Will enjoy playing outside the Wallaby 10.
11 Clinton Shifcofske – there to ice the cake the rest of the team bakes.
10 Berrick Barnes – the find of the RWC, despite the fact knowledgeable pundits picked his selection over a year ago.
9 Sam Cordingly – will finally get a chance to show that Gregan’s “must be selected” clause in his contract was counterproductive.
8 John Roe – the red terror in the red jersey.  Captain Courageous.  A true leader of men.
7 David Croft – the domestic player of the year in 2007. Clearly.
6 Hugh McMeniman – will be the first Wallaby picked in 2008. The rest of the team will be selected around him.
5 James Horwill – Big Kev. A destructive force.
4 Van Humphreys – Waratah team mates were calling for his selection in the Wallaby team next year. Can’t say I blame them.
3 Rodney Blake – The ridiculous NSW power-base should finally be put to bed for the benefit of Australian rugby. Rodzilla over Weird Al all the way.
2 Stephen Moore – The only QLDer in the Wallaby starting pack at the RWC. The only forward to show any guts.
1 Greg Holmes – injury deprived Australia of their starting loosehead at the RWC. When you consider they had to put up with Dunning, it’s a massive loss.

16 Sean Hardman – test quality on the bench. Superb. The Mike Hussey of rugby, there to close out the game with class.
17 Ben Coutts – a man mountain. Ready to establish his dominance in the most powerful Australian pack after an injury plagued 2007.
18 Ed O’Donaghue – tough as teak. How good are the Reds if this future Wallaby is on the bench?
19 Leroy Houston – here we are cleaning up after the southern states again.  When their talent is looking for a settled environment to ply their trade, where they can get away from the bullshit and arrogance of elsewhere, they come north.
20 Will Genia – best pass in Australia. FACT.
21 Quade Cooper – best step in Australia. THEORY
22 Andrew Walker – Check the squads. There is no more dynamic and dangerous impact player on the bench of any of the Australian S14 teams. A match winner.

Here’s your summer homework. Figure out how Argentina can join the TriNations. If you are brave, you can try to organise an international season.

I’ve included rough dates here for the major competitions. I haven’t included Australian club or ARC football, nor the Argies confusing domestic season, since around 80% of the top team plays in Europe.

I figure that things like Magners and French and bloody Abyssian club comps can figure out how to work around the international season.

And don’t forget to make space for Lions tours and the Rugby World Cup. Cheers!

By the time you read this, I will, once again, be in the process of being gouged of every last cent I possess, dragged across half the surface of Western Europe and being taken for a ride over and over again with a ten to twenty thousand like-minded lost souls.

And I can’t wait.

The Heineken European Cup starts this weekend. For me, like most Munster supporters, it’s the heart and soul of the sporting winter. We look forward to it all summer. We travel in droves to it, planning it like military campaigns. We save for it, ration what other games we go to so we can see the HEC. We get treated like dirt by the organisers, who shaft us on the times and venues secure in the knowledge that even if they shift games to Switzerland, we’ll turn up. We play French teams in Spain, London teams in Coventry, robbed blind by tour operators and airlines and we get done by the referees so often it’s simply not true. Yet we still turn up, and love it. Why?

It’s not so much about the rugby. We don’t play glamour rugby. We play honest, hard rugby, but we don’t pretend it’s pretty. And the entertainment value alone won’t keep people this loyal, won’t make people this dedicated through good days and bad.

I think the key is the sense of identity. The Munster players are, overwhelmingly, Munster. They represent us. We meet them on the street; we played rugby with them in school or as kids; we know their families; the connection is there. Team and fans share the deepest of bonds, because we’re one and the same.

That feeds into the feeling in the crowd. I’ve been there when the team has picked up on the desire of the crowd, the crowd has picked up on the feeling from the pitch, and the team have torn apart what should be better oppostion, driven by the desire and the fear of losing. There’s nothing like it. Surrounded by red, forty, fifty, sixty thousand who become one, roaring, creature.

The best example ever was HEC final, when, at 20-20, the screen in the Millennium Stadium cut to Limerick. We saw those at home; they saw us; and the team saw them. There was a two-beat pause of stillness. And then there was an explosion of The Fields of Athenry that shifted that stadium on its foundations and we were never going to lose that game. The team give everything for us; we give everything for the team.

I’ve followed Munster around Europe for the last eight years. I have friends on the team, but they’re coming to the end of their careers. I’ll be following Munster around Europe after they’ve retired. France, Spain, Switzerland, all the home countries, we’ve been there, good times and bad, and we’ll be there again. With the nightmare pool we’ve got this year, we probably won’t get into the knock-out stages.

Doesn’t matter. They’ll give it everything, and we’ll be there giving them all we’ve got. And, for me, that identification, that willingness to put it on the line for your own, is the heart and soul of everything rugby is and should be about.

Those who shaft us know they can do it because we’ll never let down a team who don’t leave us down. In a way, it’s a back-handed compliment.

It’s hard to believe, but this club was founded less than 2 months ago. In that time, we’ve recruited 40 members who, between them, have contributed more than 2000 posts, most of them containing the kind of mid-1980s common sense and go-forward that we all hope will turn the Wallabies’ fortunes around in the near future.

Now, to the business at hand. Here are some things that I think are worth discussing:

Membership drive. How can we get a few more folks aboard? Can you invite a few mates yourself? Can you send PMs to people on the Fern or PR or Gwlad that you personally want to see here? Should we think about some form of promotion or advertising to people at rugby games or in the media?

Front page. How to best use this page. It’s got articles and the news feed, and I’m about to add a page for rugby links. What else could we put here to make it a vital part of the Scarf experience? Or would you prefer to go forum-only? (I’ll also note here that the medium-term ambition is to do player and coach interviews, and to get press status).

News wire. This is a bloody great bit of code by Jonnosan and I’d like to use it to best effect. It’s on the front page and has its own board. How would you like to use it? And how best to post or redirect articles to the rugby board that you want to discuss?

Calendar. Is this useful? Maybe put it on the front page to add value there?

Video. We could put something on the main pages, like a page dedicated to video. Or start a new dedicated video forum. Or just allow the posting of videos in the current boards.

Design. Colours, schemes, any criticisms or suggestions? Any technical problems that people are experiencing?

The privileges of membership. Do we need to write a set of rules of posting behaviour? Any complaints about the way things are done now?

Money. We’ll eventually have to raise money. I could put ads up, or perhaps sell a few t-shirts. The t-shirts would have the advantage of advertising the site. Maybe just a quick PayPal would raise the small amount of money required for me to break even.

These are just my ideas. Some of them will take a little time to implement, since we’re doing this in our spare time. If you know a bit of code, or have been involved in web design then we could do with a bit of help.

And of course, whatever else you think is important to raise, now’s the time.

Cheers,
Scarfman

• The gap is closing. Slowly but surely, the minnows are catching up. The Argies reached the semis and finished with bronze. The Fijians beat the Welsh and pushed the Saffas in the quarter. The Tongans nearly pipped the Boks as well. The Canucks once again put up a good showing, as did the Samoans, Romanians and Georgians. Whilst these teams never looked like toppling a major nation, it is nonetheless important to see a degree of professionalism seeping into the ranks. With a little IRB assistance this will hopefully grow for future tournaments.
• Southern Hemisphere footy is still on top. Whilst the Poms and French flew the flag for the North in the semis, and beat the Aussies and Kiwis respectively, it would have to be said that the South won in a narrow points decision. The Welsh, Italians, Irish and to an extent the Scots underperformed woefully, with the first three really failing to fire a shot all tournament. New Zealand and Australia were admittedly not much better, but Bill once again sleeps under Southern skies, and deservedly so.
• Defence still wins big matches. Early tournament showings may have briefly suggested that attack would dominate this RWC, however from the Quarter Finals onwards teams resorted to the kind of grind-‘em-out footy we are used to seeing in the business end of such tournaments. It must however be noted that in major games teams never really attempted a wide, attacking game plan, so this theory was never properly put to the test.
• Closer to home, the future is not as bleak as it once appeared. A QF exit was demoralising in the extreme, but there is no doubting that positives will ensue from the experience. Berrick Barnes tops the list, with Drew Mitchell and Hugh McMeniman also featuring highly. Whilst our beleaguered front row again collapsed under the weight of expectation (and Andrew Sheridan) we may well be moving forward. Figuratively, that is.
• Legal reform is needed. This is a bit more extreme, but I think it is warranted after viewing the final. Not only are referees struggling with consistency, but major matches are descending into dull kick-a-thons which are inevitably decided by a few marginal calls. Whilst the ELVs need to be trialled at the top level before they are brought in, I think definite change needs to be made to some parts of the game.
• The ABs are chokers. This theory has been proven so many times I think it can now be considered law. Four more years, boys.

So in closing the question that should be asked about the 2007 Rugby World Cup is this- what will we remember? An early Wallaby exit, and All Black choke, a spirited Argentina, and a physical South Africa which took out the whole shebang. Sadly there were no real time-stopping moments for mine- games, tries and tackles which take your breath away and you don’t forget for years. Fiji vs. Wales was the closest, but sadly moments like these were few and very far between. That is why in the great wash-up this tournament will be viewed as a bit of a non-event, and hopefully it will force the IRB to consider changes to the fundamental way the game is played.

The patron saint of the Scarf is, of course, John Williamson, the Grand Mufti Keeper of Scarves. His favourite song is True Blue, the story of Mum, Dad, and a cockatoo. And a sponge cake. But around here, we know him better for the truest and bluest rugby anthem of them all: Waltzing Matilda.

Let me quote from John’s website (www.johnwilliamson.com.au):

There was blanket sports news coverage of the Wallabies first full training run in France where some 12,000 French people turned up at the stadium in Montpellier. As the players came onto the field John Williamson’s emotive version of Waltzing Matilda, (recorded with over 100,000 voices recorded in 1999 at Stadium Australia), came blasting over the public address system.

Another exciting event occurred immediately prior to the Wallabies first game against Japan. As stated by Wayne Smith of the Australian Newspaper ‘Berrick Barnes had a serious case of the yee-haws happening yesterday. It all started when, on the bus on the way to his Test debut for the Wallabies, he chose - as any 21 year old Queenslander would - John Williamson’s Rainin’ on the Rock and True Blue as the psych-up music to pump through his headphones.’

It is hoped these events will inspire the many Aussies who are going to the Rugby World Cup to join in and sing (particularly Waltzing Matilda) at the games to inspire the Wallabies.

Well John, it didn’t bloody work, did it? Where was the true blue passion? When the wheels started to fall off, why didn’t they “tie it up with wire, just to keep the show on the road”? If we all agree that what the Aussie’s lacked most of all was passion, then is John Williamson the right man for the job? It works for Berrick. It seems to work at Stadium Australia. Does it work for you? If not, what would you prefer as our rugby anthem? Here’s some lyrics to get you going:

Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong
Under the shade of a coolibah tree
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Down came a jumbuck to drink at the billabong
Up got the swaggie and grabbed him with glee
And he sang as he stowed that jumbuck in his tucker-bag
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
And he sang as he stowed that jumbuck in his tucker-bag
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Down came the squatter mounted on his thoroughbred
Up came the troopers One Two Three
Who’s the jolly jumbuck you’ve got in your tucker-bag?
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Who’s the jolly jumbuck you’ve got in your tucker-bag?
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me.
Up got the swaggie and jumped into the billabong
You’ll never catch me alive said he
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me.